i am enough

i am enough.
thoughts become things.
i am enough now. although, there was a time when i didn’t believe it. not wholeheartedly atleast. sure, i said it aloud as if to coax myself into believing the words that fell from my mouth like loose teeth. i was a little girl for a long time, lost in my mind, wanting to be grown up but not quite sure i got the same instruction manual as everyone else.

i remember when I Am Enough was born,  and all the women and strengths that poured through there… i read each one wondering why my own words weren’t coming.

be gentle with yourself.

i was looking at my light. i was pining for it, off in the distance i could see it. but i had not stepped into my light yet.

i am enough.
i learned it through my camera lens.
photography taught me to see myself.

i believe it now. from the soles of my feet to the greying hairs on my head. and whether it comes from fires that we walk through or if it arrives with age or circumstance or positive reinforcements shouting their love… i am enough.

right here. right now.
i am enough.

this shyness. this struggle with voice. this motherloss. this grief… i am enough.
this co-parenting, this blended family, this newness…. i am enough.
this passion, this career, this vision i see… i am enough.

i am.

*****

today i’m sharing these words as part of a self-kindness collaboration, I Am Enough, the brainchild of tracey clark. a few years ago, this sacred space came to exist and it became the home to many brave women who had a story to share.  a space to honor yourself, your journey, your truths, and your image. a space where your words can come to live alongside many other women. a tribe of sorts: women chanting their truths.

thank goodness a place like this exists, the world is kinder for it.

sleep perchance to dream

scanography, n., the process of capturing digitized images for the purpose of creating art using a flatbed scanner.

as we began our journey into self portaits last week with the launch of NOW YOU Workshops, many a great discussions were had about self portraiture. a friend shared a link to inspiration she found on the flickr blog about scanography … and it got me really curious to try something new!

the results can be so dreamlike or eerie, depending on your mood and what you choose to focus on. many years ago, friends and i would make xeroxed copies of images similiar to this only with cool effects in black and white, but nothing prepared me for what i saw after i laid my face on my scanner bed this week! it perfectly summed up my dizzy morning and head full of dreams that swirled around me and one sick little boy.

to get lost in something creative was exactly the outlet i needed to step outside of myself even if just for that moment.

life as it is

i like the idea of sharing a bit of our life here in this space. so every now and then you’ll find a post like this… life as it is… with minimal words but images instead to share a piece of our life here in new england.

last night… was so very beautiful.

 

wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

gathering words images raindrops and firewood

it’s my mother’s coat. and everytime it rains i get happy because i wear it and keep her close. the happy, green, big hooded jacket that conjures up childhood memories of puddles and holding hands.

and so it goes today… the rain is welcome, turning our world green. i find myself gathering words images raindrops and firewood. it couldn’t be a better start to the week.

today is the first day of NOW YOU Workshops :: The Beginning!

we are so excited to be sharing this journey with over a hundred women from all across the world! (world map is coming soon, it’s quite impressive and humbling to see all the countries and states represented… all these NOW YOUer’s putting themselves out there… bravehearts!)

registration for NOW YOU closed early due to an overwhelming response and a full class. due to this, we’ll be offering a 6 week summer class this july (registration details and dates coming soon) if you have any questions, feel free to contact us (subscribing to our newsletter will be a great way to stay informed of updates to our classes)

here’s to the journey!

she was proud

i kept gazing at it, like some mirage off in the distance. after our picnic lunch, we took off on a walk so we could get closer. up near the dunes, where the river meets the sea, there was a dry storage of sorts. she sat up on blocks with a for sale sign taped to the stern.

the colors are what grabbed my attention, and yes, how she sat there proudly as if to sail off into the air. but oh, those colors! we all gravitate towards favorites. and this color combination tugs at my heart the most. the boldness it invokes in me and my photography is perhaps why i find myself shooting similiar tones again and again. can colors make you stronger, more submissive, more aggresive, more melancholy? i allow myself to be more vibrant when shooting colors like this while behind the lens. i don’t question this, i simply acknowledge it and gather these strong colors around me like a boisterous tribe of friends.

we are juxt

• 

i took this photo not too long ago although it feels like worlds away.
a typical friday morning at the bus stop, with icicle daggers hanging overhead.

. . . . . . . .

well, this iphone image won The Best of Winter 2012 contest over on Instagram
the fine folks at Juxt asked me for an interview.
so, you can find me answering questions about my iphoneography, my art,
my favorite mobile photographers and most used apps over on their blog today…

“I learn by doing. Photography itself is the life project.
It catches the space between.”

it’s true, every last word of it.

“To be a photographer, one must photograph. No amount of book learning,
no checklist of seminars attended,
can substitute for thesimple act of making pictures.
Experience is the best teacher of all.
And for that, there are no guarantees that one will become an artist.
Only the journey matters.”
– Harry Callahan

when spring arrives

she had a love of forsythia. i can see why now, it being the first of happy-hopeful-yellow-spring that bursts forth first. during the early New England springtime confusion, winter still clings to us out of desperation. patches of dirty snow are too stubborn to leave our shady woods.

she’d place us, her three babies, infront of her huge forsythia each spring. wild and unruly blossoming yellow branches shooting off like fireworks in every direction. toothless grins on little me and braces and headgear on my brothers.

forsythia is a happy childhood memory with a white swinging gate that led to her garden beds and my willow treehouses decorated with the smell of wild onions. weather too warm for winter coats yet still chilly to our cheeks.

forsythia arrives first and therefore it is celebrated. cut with scissors and put in vases throughout the house. windowsills that overlook the side yard where she’d watch her children play.

a year ago we walked together and she knew enough to remember the name forsythia. rolling it off her tongue in repetition like the name of a long lost friend. for-sythia. a woman who knew her well. the first one to arrive in spring. for-sythia.

this year he shows her my photography in the magazine, pointing out the blooms of early spring. the photos i took with her by my side on that cold day that had us confused. she was wondering why we were there, standing before the glorious blooms, and i was still needing her to be something she couldn’t. i hadn’t yet realized it’s ok to let go.

this year he reads her my words, the ones i wrote for her, and she cries real tears. after four years of picks disease stealing emotion from her, she cries… lost in her mind yet still knowing what is love.  her memories can be mine, shared in my re-telling of her story.

love is when spring arrives.