Monthly Archive: December, 2011

blank canvas

Our daily walk through the woods became single file. The snowshoes lead the way; they break trail, leaving footsteps for everyone else to follow. Step with caution, walk with intention, be mindful of… Continue reading

countdown to crazy

only a handful of days until new years! this means i’m beginning the freak out that comes with the anticipation of something so exhilerating and completely chilly. beyond chilly. downright fucking freezing. i’m… Continue reading

slowing down to see

If you are like me, the months of winter spin past in a sort of whirlwind chaos. It is goodness of course: the lights, the sparkle, the baking, the family. It seems the… Continue reading

lobsters on the coast of maine

how long have i dreamt of maine? with a babe in arms and a mind full of insomnia i’d cruise around new england via internet in the dark of night… searching for something… Continue reading

making and creating

The wheel spins. A child’s eyes grow wide with anticipation, a lilting voice unable to hide the excitement. Steady hands show him how it’s done. How to make something from nothing. Art from… Continue reading

finding our way

friends make our world. near and far. we skype, we play, we act as if nothing has changed when in fact every.single.thing. has changed we find our way with friends. old and new.… Continue reading

the view from here

coming up over the crest, through the woods, this sight never ceases to take my breath.  this {what this stands for} might be everything i love about new england. {and this one too if i’m… Continue reading

30 days

during the month of november, i did a small gratitude project. 30 days of gratitude. it seems like such a small task, to find gratitude each day… but as i’ve noticed with daily… Continue reading

she sprouted wings

the first time i met her it was summer on the coast of oregon :: laughter abounds friendships bloom even with their farawayness (i love that) her art draws me in :: mixed… Continue reading

don’t let the turkeys get you down

my mom had a coffee mug collection, i had my favorites as did she. but the one that stuck with me the most was that phrase printed across a horribly illustrated picture. “don’t… Continue reading

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  • @camerashymomma on instagram

    a year ago today we landed in paradise and i sat unblinking on the balcony, staring out at the caribbean blue, and felt life splinter because the phone call i anticipated receiving for eight years had arrived just moments after we landed. your hospice nurse let me know you were ready to leave your earthly body. it felt like a trapeze act, a circus trick, a balancing act of human experience while we found our way together, two adults and three children: sharing a happy family vacation, our private beach wedding ceremony, and celebrating your life as you transitioned to death. life is always equal parts joy and sorrow, but never so much as that week one year ago. i still find you in the ocean waves, mom, and i know i always will. thanks for showing up in unexpected places. this, and a pocket full of seaglass; this is everything. sunshine sunday. as a mother you try to protect them for as long as you can. but media trickles in with the flash of news across a restaurant tv screen and suddenly you're in the middle of conversations about the NRA and government officials and gun laws and honestly honesty honesty. my parents never spoke like this; did they have to? or were they complacent and yes, happily republican, in a time when life felt so very different than how it feels now? or am i just a middle aged mom, a liberal raised by conservatives, an empath woman raising an empath son and fumbling through this razor sharp world? i often don't know what i’m doing. am i being honest? am i being too honest? i’m doing all i can to channel my frustration/sadness/anger towards legislative action and common sense gun laws. i’m just saying, it's a heavy heart when your 7th grader simply doesn't want to go to school because of recent school shootings and he’s able to express his sadness and rage at the office of the president while questioning the state of the union and the illusion of safety in this world he is navigating. @everytown #endgunviolence hello love. happy valentine's day! {homemade love for my love on his birthday} he's the most encouraging, positive, and creatively supportive husband around, so i wanted to make him something special for his 45th year. i drew this and carved it, then held my breath as i inked it and pulled the first print from it. i could.not.wait to give it to him this morning! life intersects and intertwines. weeks become months become years, until you look around one day and wonder if there was ever a time when you did not wake to see their face each morning. happy birthday to my favorite man @artfarmer “we are all a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone who’s weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." thirteen. my boy. the master of expression. the kid who has always marched to his own rhythm. keep being you, baby, i'm so proud to be your mom. thirteen years ago found me kneeling at the banks of the river to channel her energy, to sink my knees into her wet earth after months of flooding rains. to ground myself, to tap into something greater than me, to channel the warrior women who came before me in lineage. to find strength from something, anything, bigger than me, to help guide me through homebirth. today i fall down the rabbit hole of old photos, old lives… and become that mom. the mom that hugs him while saying “20 hours of back labor.” he knows the story of his beginning: the coyotes, the birth tub, the out of body experience and the power of love radiating from the ten pound baby in my arms. today i am that mom that holds the memories, in the hours leading us to 3am. remembering the mud caked to the hem of my skirt and the blood on my thighs. the birth. the babe. the mother. thirteen years in the blink of an eye.
  • Meredith Winn

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