the light and dark of it

 i fear that i’ve forgotten his laughter.

in moments of bravery, i can recognize strength. “i’m stronger than i know…” i will offer you my back; here, get on and i’ll carry you through the darkness. on good days, my strength and determination will carry all of us. i know now that this voice is not my own, but one that comes through me. i know that i am only as strong as my strongest day. but saying these words and forming these mantras helps me channel all the mothers who have come before me. this road is worn from our years. our bags are filled with missing children, forgotten laughter, and motherloss. it’s heavy with the weight of rocks. we sew our stories with the thread of womanhood that binds us.

64 days gone, this momma bird flies south this week to retrieve her baby.