garden to kitchen. this is summer. i find myself in the garden after a rain, searching for new harvests. peas  tomatoes and lettuce is where we’re at. and it’s a good place to… Continue reading

her dementia, my grief

“but there’s a story behind everything. how a picture got on a wall. how a scar got on your face. sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. but… Continue reading

cold antler farm

i recently had the pleasure of reading and reviewing Jenna Woginrich’s newest book, Cold Antler Farm. you can find the review (along with a very sweet book trailer video from Roost Books) over… Continue reading

bar harbor

no amount of travel could wear me out. really, I mean I’m not as young as I used to be, and I definitely feel the effects of sleep deprivation and wonky hours spent… Continue reading

dixie land

arriving home from colorado in the dark of 3am I was greeted with mist and fog so dreamy I nearly cried tears of joy. home! I lived in Colorado for seven years and… Continue reading

the whirlwind

it’s mid-July now, but looking back I can see the whirlwind. June in fact, was a blur. a happy, messy, exhausting yet full month. June is the month that we try to cram… Continue reading

liquid landscapes

in the spring, summer and fall around here I become obsessed with water. not just because in winter it’s locked in frozen ice, but because I can allow my mind to wander and… Continue reading

actias luna

“Even when muddy, your wings sparkle bright wonders that heal broken worlds.” – Aberjhani Father’s Day at the pool, surrounded by the laughter of children, this luna moth and I shared a moment.… Continue reading

the process of writing

if I have a clean desk it can only mean one thing: i’m avoiding a big deadline. there’s something about the concept of writing about writing… it helps to demystify the muse. when… Continue reading

a day in the life {on film}

a day in the life {and moments from that day that felt like summer} right now life begs for film. my eternal reminder of time moving too fast, the countdown to summer and… Continue reading

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  • @camerashymomma on instagram

    a year ago today we landed in paradise and i sat unblinking on the balcony, staring out at the caribbean blue, and felt life splinter because the phone call i anticipated receiving for eight years had arrived just moments after we landed. your hospice nurse let me know you were ready to leave your earthly body. it felt like a trapeze act, a circus trick, a balancing act of human experience while we found our way together, two adults and three children: sharing a happy family vacation, our private beach wedding ceremony, and celebrating your life as you transitioned to death. life is always equal parts joy and sorrow, but never so much as that week one year ago. i still find you in the ocean waves, mom, and i know i always will. thanks for showing up in unexpected places. this, and a pocket full of seaglass; this is everything. sunshine sunday. as a mother you try to protect them for as long as you can. but media trickles in with the flash of news across a restaurant tv screen and suddenly you're in the middle of conversations about the NRA and government officials and gun laws and honestly honesty honesty. my parents never spoke like this; did they have to? or were they complacent and yes, happily republican, in a time when life felt so very different than how it feels now? or am i just a middle aged mom, a liberal raised by conservatives, an empath woman raising an empath son and fumbling through this razor sharp world? i often don't know what i’m doing. am i being honest? am i being too honest? i’m doing all i can to channel my frustration/sadness/anger towards legislative action and common sense gun laws. i’m just saying, it's a heavy heart when your 7th grader simply doesn't want to go to school because of recent school shootings and he’s able to express his sadness and rage at the office of the president while questioning the state of the union and the illusion of safety in this world he is navigating. @everytown #endgunviolence hello love. happy valentine's day! {homemade love for my love on his birthday} he's the most encouraging, positive, and creatively supportive husband around, so i wanted to make him something special for his 45th year. i drew this and carved it, then held my breath as i inked it and pulled the first print from it. i could.not.wait to give it to him this morning! life intersects and intertwines. weeks become months become years, until you look around one day and wonder if there was ever a time when you did not wake to see their face each morning. happy birthday to my favorite man @artfarmer “we are all a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone who’s weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." thirteen. my boy. the master of expression. the kid who has always marched to his own rhythm. keep being you, baby, i'm so proud to be your mom. thirteen years ago found me kneeling at the banks of the river to channel her energy, to sink my knees into her wet earth after months of flooding rains. to ground myself, to tap into something greater than me, to channel the warrior women who came before me in lineage. to find strength from something, anything, bigger than me, to help guide me through homebirth. today i fall down the rabbit hole of old photos, old lives… and become that mom. the mom that hugs him while saying “20 hours of back labor.” he knows the story of his beginning: the coyotes, the birth tub, the out of body experience and the power of love radiating from the ten pound baby in my arms. today i am that mom that holds the memories, in the hours leading us to 3am. remembering the mud caked to the hem of my skirt and the blood on my thighs. the birth. the babe. the mother. thirteen years in the blink of an eye.
  • Meredith Winn

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